Everyday is a constant learning experience. I personally learn something new everyday. As human beings we've all made mistakes from the time we were kids up until our current status of adulthood. The mistakes I've made as a child, teenager, young adult, to now, has molded me in many ways to be the woman I am today. I am certain I'm not perfect. No one is. If I were perfect, I definitely would've never done some of the things I've done, or still make mistakes today as I grow older. I believe mistakes are inevitable as are changes. The choices we make live with us everyday whether they are minor or major. We must accept the consequences of our decisions, take ownership, and learn from what ever choice we've made.
By the time I was a teenager, well...a lot of the time, I was too dumb to consider the fact I was even making a mistake. I felt that I could never be incompetent enough to make mindless, senseless decisions. I was such a narcissist. In my own eyes, I was "THE" perfect child. I believed I was not capable of doing any wrong. I didn't account for my poor decisions. Then..."Uh mistakes, What are those?" My parents, teachers, and most adults, were just talking, and why were they always tripping on me? With the exception of a few uncles, cousins, friends, and about three of my teachers. Their opinions seemed to matter to me. I'm not saying I didn't listen to my parents or other adults, because I did listen, their voices just did not register sometimes. Information went in one ear and out the other. I felt as if they didn't understand me. The only people that could relate to my everyday shenanigans were the few I named, they were whom I confided in most. They knew me. The real me, so I thought. I did not empathize with my parents. It didn't fully process that every adult had been all up in my shoes, that most of them had been there done that.
Growing up in Oakland, I've seen a lot, done a lot, been through a lot. I cursed a lot, smoked weed, drank alcohol, cut school, had sex as a teen, ran away from home, you name it. I did way too much, I was slightly reckless, but still "feared" what my parents would do if they'd found out how irresponsible I was being. I must've thought I was grown or something. In hindsight back then I didn't know shit! Now at the age of 35, I can reflect and think of about a thousand mistakes or more I've made prior to the woman I've grown to be currently. I'm definitely not the naive little Oakland girl I used to be. We learn from trial and error. I was young, with my materialistic, sometimes smart mouth, rebellious ass. My mother had to deal with my consequences and the backlash of my poor decision making. Looking back today, I know my parents wanted me to learn things on my own. My parents taught us the importance of independence. There were plenty of lecturing during family discussions that I can now relate to while having similar discussions with my children. Additionally I was merely acting out. Maybe if I would have made better choices the outcome of my consequences could've resulted in less complications.
My mother was probably my biggest victim. In reality she really was the closest person to me. She supported me, encouraged me, and taught me a lot about being a strong woman. She dealt with all of me, yet she knew what to do to tame my ass frequently. Pippa Johnson didn't play that shit! Now that I'm grown with children of my own, I'm learning the many responsibilities of adulthood. Everyday I'm growing, maturing, trying to find my way. My grown self is now very aware there are consequences for every decision I make. The end result for every choice I make will effect everyone around me, mainly my children, I'm aware I must make mindful decisions. Yes, I have made poor choices grown and all that had its affects on my family a time or two. I've learned during those times I can't let my mistakes stop me from moving forward. I accept them as they come along and move on. No need to worry about yesterday's challenges.
When we're young, we're just coasting through life without a care in the world. We never know the value or appreciate the value of our lives or others.
I've gained an immense amount of knowledge from the mistakes I've made over time. I try not to live my life in regrets. If it were something that I did at that moment, it's something that I obviously wanted to do. I've learned if I've made a mistake it's ok. Breathe and do better the next time. I strive to apply my previous life's experiences to my everyday life. If it weren't for my life, the inevitable changes, ups and downs, bad times, good times, God's many humbling experiences, who knows where I would be today. Now I appreciate all the lectures, getting put on punishment for having low grades, the arguments, etc. I just know we shouldn't hold on to negative things from our past that may hinder us today. Meaning choices, mistakes, what ever it may be. When you know better do better. Don't let past or present mistakes stop you from achieving what ever your heart desires. 
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