To Date or Not to Date

As a single woman it can be difficult to date after being in a relationship. I am hard on myself when it comes to dating. I conflict with myself often with the idea of dating new people. I want to date at times because I miss the companionship. More often though I sometimes miss the notion of having a boyfriend, a friend, socializing, getting dressed up, companionship, going out, having fun, or hanging out with someone I can get to know on a personal level. I tend to have too many reservations and personal expectations when it comes to dating.  Am I being too hard on myself?

I was asked the question by a close friend, "why don't you date?" I didn't have a concrete answer on why. I gave more than one answer that probably didn't make sense. I guess you can say I was beating around the bush when it came to giving a definite answer. The question was harder to answer than I'd thought it would be. Deep down inside I cannot pin point or rationalize my own personal reasons for why I don't date. I presume in my own case, my reasons in my head are very logical. The question still remains partially unanswered. I needed to ask myself, dig deep, and come up with real answers to the question Lady KJ...why don't you date?

At first I didn't want to date anyone because I felt that I wasn't ready after my breakup. I'd previously been in a long relationship that may have potentially scarred me or that's what I'd tricked myself into believing. Initially I felt it was too soon to date, although after becoming single I did have a few male friends that I texted and even had a few casual encounters with over the years. I mean damn, I've been officially single since 2013. However, it still doesn't give me the urge to want to date. I've mentally tricked myself into believing that dating automatically turns into a relationship. I missed the part about dating that was supposed to be fun and casual.

Again I can only speak for myself when it comes to my own reasons for why I date or not. I have mixed emotions about dating often. I don't go out on dates because I feel that every man has the same intentions or maybe I assume intended sex will be the end result for why we went on a date in the first place. Are there any men that just want to hang out and has the same intentions I have? I guess I will never know until I shake the idea of all men are the same.  

Another reason I choose not to date is because the thought of getting to know some one new is hard for me. I am aware that all men are not the same, but when it comes to dating, what will make one person stand out from the other? It's my own fault half of the time because deep down inside I'm afraid to explore. As a single woman I shouldn't be afraid of companionship. Better yet, I shouldn't be afraid to step out and have fun. I always ask myself am I the only person dealing with my own repercussions because I have yet to step out of my own comfort zone?