A lot of people should be able to relate to this quote.

How do you?

Dedicated to my beautiful mother Pippa Elaine Johnson. May you continue to inspire me to do what I love. May your memory live on through me, and may your soul Rest in Peace. I love you dearly...your daughter Kia Nicole Johnson. I was always taught to be strong and independent. My mother never really cried in front of me. To be honest the only time that I've ever really seen my mother cry was when there was a death in the family. I grew up in Oakland Ca, where you were taught to to live and be a certain way. It's a lifestyle that you can get caught up in if you made/make certain choices. To my defense growing up there had some benefits and also some down falls as well. I grew up with majority boys, Im not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I say that because growing up around them contributed to my mentality and the way I think about things pertaining to life in general. I also had a mother that was kind, feisty, but yet she was spunky and didn't take mess from anyone. She always taught me to stand up for me and what I believed in, to be independent and always do what made/ makes me happy. Being the type of person that I have always known myself to be, I know for a fact that I am stong but yet sensitive. Sometimes I may be extra sensitive for all the wrong reasons. I don't believe I was ever taught to mourne or properly grieve the loss of a loved one. I have always wondered if I had taught myself or forced myself to deal with past deaths because I have experienced a lot of loss in my life. Losing my father by the age 23 was really hard for me to deal with. I felt discontinued from the world, disapointed and hurt amongst other feelings I was dealing with. However I had my Mother to turn to for comfort. She helped me get through at the time was one of the hardest times of my life. Having my mother there and knowing that she would always be there in anytime of need, gave me a sense of assurance. I learned to hold my head up high, be strong and bury the pain deep down inside. There has been times though that I have broken down but I would just force myself to focus on other things instead of greiving. After a few years went by; although I knew deep down inside I had not properly dealt with the loss of my father, I had came to a point in my life to where I was able to get through my day to day life. March 2011 I lost my grandmother, my father's mother. At the time of her death my mother was in the hospital recovering from a stroke. It killed me inside to know that the person I would normally turn to for comfort and assurance was not available in the way that I needed her to be. My brother and myself flew down to Mississippi to say our last goodbyes our grandmother. During my time there with my father's family, it resurfaced a lot of old harbored feelings that I had forgotten I had. I've always known though that I had never properly dealt with the death of my father. On the entire fight back to California , I had felt all of these mixed emotions. I had almost felt as if I had lost my father all over again, even though my sole purpose was to be there for my family and say my last goodbyes to my grandmother. I cried the whole time from Mississippi to Sacramento. It took me a few weeks to gather my composure and almost feel normal again. In a sense, after crying my eyes out and reflecting on everything that I had endured at the time of my father's death, I felt that I had finally found closure from his death. Moving forward, God had other plans for me. I felt that he gave me the opportunity to say my last goodbye to my grandmother, which allowed me to seek closure for losing my father, but also preparing me for the next hurdle that I would have to overcome. A few months short thereafter, I was faced with the biggest loss of my life. I lost my mother, the one person in the world that understood my everything if it made sense or not. Now we come to the subject at matter. What is the right way to mourn someone? Since the death of my mother, it is still unbelievable to me. I know that I still haven't properly grieved her death. There are still all of these unanswered questions that linger in my mind. Everyday I am mentally fighting with my thoughts because I have not dealt nor accepted in my mind that she is gone. I also know that my unanswered questions will remain unanswered for the rest of my life. When it comes to my mother, there is this continuous hurt that sits on my heart, I feel deep down inside that the type of pain that I have been feeling will never go away. With that being said, how do you grieve? Either way I still need to find an effective way to deal with my loss. If I don't I will continue to feel lost. I miss her dearly. She will always remain in my heart and soul. I love her so much . May her soul rest in peace.

Welcoming the newest addition to our family!!

Hello Baby Terron Dion Lewis ll

Having a good day!

What no Black History? iiiii

My, have the times changed... I can recall since being in the kindergarden that February was the month for Valentine's day, and let's not forget, Black History Month. Maybe it's just me. Or is it because I grew up in a city where most of the children at my school were of color. Or was it during an era where Black History Month was of more importance than the times we live in today? I know that it's only been eight days into the month; but i was talking with my eldest daughter this evening and thought i would bring up Black History Month. I was eager to know what she'd been learning in school. She'd told me that they had not learned anything in her class about Black History, or about any of the people that helped paved the way to get us(people of color) to where we are now. Not only was i shocked , but I was a little disgruntled by the fact that our kids have not recived any type of information or had been educated about Black History month. Our kids deserve to know that we did have actual heros and positive role models that helped and allowed us the freedom that we as people of color have today. I guess it's up to us now as parents or just being a part of the generation that we are in to keep our children educated about the people and keep the histoy, our History, Black History alive.